Time...time is what brings us together today...

Well, here I am again. I have decided to limit myself to (fingers crossed) one post a week, to unsure the impossibility of "blog burnout". I have been thinking about forgiveness a lot lately, and realized that sometimes, time goes hand in hand with the act of forgiving...

You see, time really does heal all wounds. When I used to see this, I thought it was completely wrong until I realized that, it isn't the time, but the experiences over time that are the true medications. Things happen over time that broaden our horizons, open our eyes, and stretch us little by little. Through being stretched, those things that hurt us in the past seem to dull; they lose the luster of pain. I imagine hurt as a freshly paved road. It isn't the time itself that wears the road out, but the journeys that are traveled on it. Bit by bit, little by little, the pain gets thinner and starts to crack. After some of the journeys are complete, life once again begins to grow through the cracks...

one

blade

at a time.

Thats all it takes. Just one little blade of life...

As the the journey continues, a little more life grows. The a bit more...and a bit more....until, after a while, the road is no longer visible beneath the life. 

All I really have to say is...enjoy the journey. Though you feel like you may have blown any chance of happiness out of the water, the journey may bring you right back. By that time, though the pain still lingers, you are given another chance. And as you start that second chance, slowly but surely, the pain will start to recede. All thats left is the new life poking through, bringing you into a peace...one that passes all understanding.

Deep, late night thoughts...why can't i think like this during the day??

So, it's 1:10 in the morning...I took a nap...and now can't sleep...great. But hey, gives me time to just process thoughts. If you know me, you know that I tend to fly by the seat of my pants (and quite enjoy it), but sometimes, it's so good to just slow down and think. To process. As Americans in general, we start to look so FAR AHEAD that we lose track of the here. The now. I am always looking at point C while working on point A. Now, I realized that this is a good trait to have, but because of it, life just seems to cruise by. The bible says a lot about looking for/striving for the goal ahead, but my only question is....does that mean neglect what we are here for now? We focus so much on making the end goal that we forget to enjoy the journey. When really, what changes us more? The finished product? Or what it took to get there. 

I LOVE the book The Shack. It has changed me and my outlook on life on so many levels. I have read it 5 times since I received it at Christmas time. I say this because a major theme of the whole book is that God, my God, is a God of the now. Yes, he forgives the past. We know he knows our future. But He is the God of now. I find myself praying that I would make the right decision now, so I don't have to deal with the consequences later. If I take care of what needs to be taken care of now, then it all works out in the end. I pride myself on the fact that no matter what the project or goal is, I always get it done. Usually this is me pulling an all nighter the day before the completion date. Is that the way I should be doing it? I take pride in my work, but is that showing it? Does God want a slapped together, super-glued, still drying finished product? Or does He want something that has been sculpted...molded? I find that the best things are those that get worked on little by little. The artist puts it away for a while. Then, when the project is taken out, it has a fresh look. A new, innovative idea to accompany it. I think God wants something that has been broken time and time again. Something that has been torn down, and then fixed with his own hands. I like to think that God prides himself in me. In the way that I jack myself up only to be made stronger by the Artist. I want my life to have a story behind it. I hate the pain while in the midst of it, but thank God for it when I am through it. Without the pain, would I be who I am? Those tough experiences conform me into the image of myself that I need to be. 

The blessing of the second chance.

Tonight, I was thinking about how in life, we are often presented with the sometimes elusive "second chance". All I have to say is...."Lord, thank you for this gift you have given me of a "re-do" with the added benefit of hindsight." Hope this little 30 seconds made your day brighter.

So....wow...haven't done this in a while! I guess I'll just jot down some random thoughts before class starts....

1. THANK YOU for making my Birthday so special, everybody who was involved in even the smallest way...

2. I have decided that to get the best out of my chapel services here at vfcc, and attitude of expectancy is completely necessary....I noticed this because...well, I guess I'll just tell the story...

So, Sunday night I heard that Dr. Dippold (my FAVORITE professor) was speaking in chapel. As soon as I heard this, I was immediately excited for chapel the next day was was EXPECTING great things to happen...now why can't I be like this all the time? What is that invisible wall that holds me back? Expectancy. I know that when you are tired, busy, and your body aches, it's hard to be excited for anything...and yet...if you just take that little bit of your mind and say "God...I'm EXPECTING you do do something great today and I KNOW you will", then how much more freely can God work? Now...take that times 853 (vfcc student population)...what kinds of things could happen? Just a thought....

3. So, I have started lifting weights. I know. But since I made Chosen, the traveling team, I realized that i really wanna look good. Not ripped...just physically fit. And boy...am I paying for it...and yet....it's that pain that feels good? I don't know if you have ever had that...but it's a great feeling.

4. I have just realized that, in this world of IM'ing and FaceBook, I have a hard time remembering to capitalize letters and put apostrophes....

because i could type a sentance like this much faster because i dont have to worry about moving my hands off the keys...its much faster...

5. My little sister is an AMAZING artist of whom I am SO impressed....if you don't believe me, ask her to email my bday pic to you....keep in mind that shes (there i go again...she's) 12 people....that thing looks amazing and I was BLOWN AWAY when I opened the attachment...

6. Hi mom! just in case you are wondering...i now weight a little over 160, am eating healthy, and am putting on muscle. Not wasting away as you might think... :D