When no one seems to understand….
When you had a bad relationship and cant get away from not seeing her….
When you have a lot of work and nothing to show for it….
When you feel un appreciated…..
When you pray and nothing changes…..
Man, mom. How did you know exactly how I feel...I can't put it into words. The only thing that comes out is I don't know. How can you express when your heart just hurts? Is there even words created to describe that? I'm sorry that I can't describe why I feel how I feel. But even still...my best isn't cutting it. I work so hard...and I'm moving backwards. I never thought it would be so hard to motivate myself to keep trying. I hate how I always feel...and I try to change. And I pray for change. But change isn't visible. Why can't it just all be over? Why can't my heart just feel better. Why can't I change my mindset? Sure...I knew it would hurt for a while. But this long? And does it all stem from that? Is that where the issues came to the surface? I have been trying to fix it all, but it breaks faster than I can fix it...; I just want you to acknowledge that I exist. God...fix me. You're all I have left.
Ry, I just wanted to tell you that you're AMAZING. Life has times that are just horrible. There are times when it seems like the pain will never end. Trust me, I have been there. Here's just a little tid bit that Mindy told me a few months ago when my heart was breaking in half...think of how many AMAZING men in the Bible went thru some of the most HORRIBLE things you could ever imagine, and how long it took for some of them to come out of it, but they ended up being so strong and had such an impact on others. Remember that my phone is always on for you, and my door is always open if you happen to need a get away. Love ya little bro
ReplyDeleteRyan,
ReplyDeleteMy daughter Amy said it well. You're a great guy! I SO respect how "real" and how "vulnerable" you are. I think that takes a lot of faith and a lot of "guts". Gideon in the Bible is SUCH an inspiration for me. Read Judges 6-8. John the Baptist is also a great inspiration to me. God's got great things for you. God loves you. Rejoice in Him today! And, it's gonna get better!