Close these doors...

How often do we pray "Lord, just open doors!!". Right now, I'm praying quite the opposite...for the last year, I have been growing so much, and just craving for God to do some things in my life. Now all of a sudden, I don't know which way to turn. There are so many things calling for my attention; so many people who want pieces of me here and there...it's exhausting, tiring, and somewhat confusing. So I pray "God, guide each and every step. Close the doors that need to be closed and open the ones that need to stay open."

God, I don't want to hurt peoples feelings; I don't want to miss out on great opportunities; I just need you to show up. Clear up this mess of things in my head...let me not burn bridges, but live in expectancy. Help me to KNOW which things you have placed and which things that I have placed in priority. I am at a standstill, and my thoughts keep me restless. Give me a sound mind, pure righteous decision-making, and Your love and wisdom. Without it, I am truly lost. Without you, I continue to run in circles, jumping from thing to thing, with no plan and no future. I need you to reveal to me exactly what I need in every situation. Make me a true chaser for Your heart...

What I learned in 2009....

I put this on my facebook too...

When worship becomes a formality, don't even bother. Apply yourself to everything you want to be good at. Don't fall too hard or too fast. A broken heart is the worst, but I think it's necessary at least once. The mouth is a dangerous tool, whether words, attitudes, or tone. It is normal to be angry and frustrated, but never take it out on others; it will hurt you and them. When you sing, sing like you've never sung before. When you lead worship, actually worship. Don't just lead others INTO worship. If someone acknowledges their faults and truly desires to change, don't write them off. Help them grow. Growth hurts so badly, but their is nothing like seeing where you came from to where you are. You are never as cool as you think you are. Introversion isn't a bad thing if you are extraverted. Know who holds your heart. He loves you enough that he won't let it break. You are never alone. If you do something with enough energy and excitement, people will love it even if its bad. Eventually, you will come back to your first love. I love my violin more than I ever have. Who cares what people think...live like no one's watching. I have an audience of one, and He is so proud of me. There isn't anything you can do about a bad grade. Just tear it up the next time. I don't really care about perfectionism...unless I'm playing music. John Mayer is the musician of my generation. And he blows my mind with every word. Less is more. Delay is a guitarists best friend. Uggs are still ugly. I secretly would enjoy being indie. I really like sunglasses and shoes. V-necks. Win. If you wear a suit, people will immediately give you a bit more respect. There is nothing new in the world. If you think you have arrived, you aren't even close. 2009 was a YEAR for me. I've never grown so much in one year. Ever. Change hurts, but I have never embraced it like I have this year. To anyone who reads this, if I hurt or offended you, I am so sorry. If I ever snapped at you, forgive me. Don't hold it against me. The Ryan that entered 2009 is not the Ryan that exited 2009. Thanks for all my friends, both new and old. You make my life interesting. Mom, Dad, and Nay, thanks for all you are. Dad, thanks for your long AIM conversations (i have lots of them saved on my computer) full of wisdom and love. Thanks for being so patient with me and showing me how to truly live. Mom, you make me laugh and I'm forever grateful for all you are. Renee...holy cow have you grown. You are almost as tall as I am! I have enjoyed watching you grow up so much in just a year. You are truly gonna be even more amazing as you grow. What a year it was...and what a year it is going to be.