How He Loves

  Oh, how he loves us. Those are amazing words. The God of the Universe, the maker of all, loves me. My God loves me so much that he wants to visit with me. When I say his name, he hears and answers. We have a God that thoroughly enjoys spending time with us, that just wants us to sit at his feet. All these other religions have these gods that are so distant. They demand allegiance. When you die, they keep you guessing, hoping that you did enough to squeak by and enter into paradise. But God, my God, loves me and just wants to be close to me. He loves me and all he asks of me is that I love him in return. There is no guessing, no formula, and no program. Just unending Love. 

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that. Eph. 5:1-2

He doesn't want anything in return. He just wants us. No matter what I do, I cannot escape his love. I can't run away from it. It doesn't matter how I feel in return, he still loves me. The maker of everything loves me so much that he knows my name. And when I have a question for him, he even answers! The love he has for me transcends any love that ever was. Everything that he has done throughout history was because of his love for us. No matter how many times we are hurt or rejected, his love remains. When all is gone and turned to dust, his love still wraps me in his arms. I don't have time to worry when I dwell on his love. When I worry, it shows my lack of trust in who He is. When I stress, it just shows my desire to have control over the situation, when all I need to do is lay it down. His love covers it all, everytime. I desire to love like God loves. I pray that I would have a love that covers the wrongs done to me. That no matter what someone does to me, I still love them. Who am I to hold a grudge when God doesn't. Imagine if He held grudges...we would have no chance. So why should I. I choose to love, like He loves me.

Letting Go

Not really sure how to start this...it's pretty transparent, but I guess I'll just type and see what happens...

Life is definitely not easy...pain, heartache, and depression are so close to us at all times that it is impossible to ignore. Right now...I'm still hurting. I struggle so much with the idea that it's completely my fault; that surely there is something I could have done to fix the issue... Pain is an interesting thing...it grips the heart. Fills up your soul, busies your mind. It is so easy to dwell in pain, just ride it for who knows how long. Then because of the pain, people you come in contact with never see the real you. Everytime we get hurt, we seem to lose a part of ourselves. We close, little by little. I am so scared that because I have been hurt, I won't be able to trust again. It is so tough to not let people deal with hurt that never involved them in the first place. While discussing this with my dad, he told me that the only thing that I can do is to just let it go. Just to say "God, here it is. I give it to you. I don't want to carry this anymore, so I give it to you." I find that I remind myself of this daily. When that pain grips my heart, I just say "God, I let it go. You know the pain I carry and the worry that I have, but I give it to you. It isn't mine to carry anymore...you alone hold my future, so I release this worry. I give it all to you." 

As I'm finding, this isn't an easy prayer to pray. To pray this, you have to mean it; to mean it, you have to let it go. Even if you don't want to. It's so funny how we have this pain, yet we still seem to thrive on it. Why is that? Maybe because we can use it at a crutch or an excuse? Maybe to justify how we act and base our decisions later on in life? How does that even help us? Why should a person I come into contact with have to deal with the pain from before? Just let it go! We have the option for it to be lifted from us, yet we squeeze it so tightly like its a safety blanket. At some point, a child needs to learn to grow without their safety blanket...can you imagine if adults just continued to carry them around in life? Yet that is exactly what we do with our lives! We clutch our pain and our "woe is me" for so long that it stunts who we are. We cease to realize that it doesn't just affect you, it affects those you care about and those who would like to care about you. "God, I let it go." And yet, those 5 words are still so difficult to say. I love instant results, but some things aren't that easy. The more I pray this, the deeper it gets into my spirit. Even after a while, when I pray these words, the pain hurts even greater. But I HAVE to do it, or I will be an adult stunted in my maturity, carrying around my safety blanket for the world to see. So I challenge you, just as I challenge myself. Don't dwell in the past. Don't fear the future. Give it up with open arms.