That look in my eye...

I am convinced that Jesus had a look in his eye that when others saw it, they KNEW without a doubt that he cared about every part of their lives. And I want that look. I want people to see me and no matter who they are, they know I care about every part of their lives. They hear about this "Jesus" guy all the time...but never know what he was like; how he acted. I take it upon myself (as we all should) to, as my favorite saying goes, be Jesus with skin on. We need to be a visual representation of what this guy was all about. Because if we don't...who will? I want to have the eyes of Jesus...eyes of compassion and love. Because without that look...why even bother with who I am? I have nothing special to bring...but if I have that spirit about me...they aren't going to see me. They are going to see my model...Jesus.

Lessons from a crazy kid with a flag...

There I am, playin guitar on stage, right in the middle, when I look down and see this kid. He is collapsed on the steps to the stage, clutching his teams flag. You see, this kid's name is Shai. Hes gonna be a ninth grader next hear in East Providence. What a kid Shai is. You talk about energy...while getting to know him throughout the week, he told me about everything from his girl issues to his embarrassing stories, down to his favorite candy (which we bonded on cause it was Reese's). Anyway, here I look down and he is just clutching this flag, worshipping his Lord. Even on the fast songs, I would look down and see him waving his teams flag...

You see, normally, I make fun of flag worshippers. But this 14 year old kid has GOT it. What if we could just say to the world "You know what? I don't care what you think about me. I'm going to do what I'm going to do, no matter how you feel about it. I don't need your stupid approval, my God is worth it." What an idea. One of my favorite sayings is "sometimes you just have to let loose." I got this from a guy named Karl in Costa Rica, when out of nowhere, he hears this song on the station in a subway and just start groovin to it, right there in the lobby. I used to think that this was crazy! Until I slowly realized that why even bother with this existence if I can't be excited by it! Sometimes you just gotta let loose!!! Anyways...back to Shai. He didn't care what the other kids thought about him; he didn't want their approval. He wanted God's. And you know what? I'm sure God was up there lookin' down and saying "Shai, you have GOT it. And I LOVE you so much. If only those around you could just realize what you have...". Shai, you will never read this, and I wish I would have told you this to your face, but you are my hero. You taught me a lesson in one glance that it takes some a lifetime to achieve.

So if you are reading this, I just want to let you know that I don't care what you think about me, and neither does my big dad. He just wants me to love him and lay it all down for him. From here on out, when I play for him, I'm gonna leave it all on that stage. When I sing for him, I want my voice to be completely depleted, given up in worship. I don't care what those kids down there think, I want them to see me and see that I'm just letting loose. After all, why not randomly dance in a subway...you never know whos face you might brighten... (i like to think that God laughs at me and thinks to himself "you go Ryan. Enjoy the life I gave you, make the most of it. Dance like no one is watching." 

So Shai, thanks. I dedicate this to you. And I know for a fact that God looks down and you bring joy to his face, just because of who you are. Don't ever lose that passion you have, cause you sure bring joy to my heart.